June 9, 2000 - From No Longer Hesitant

[Karma Yoga]

June 9, 2000 - From No Longer Hesitant

Dear Marge,

The email sharings from Babaji have been wonderful to read. I also want to thank you for forwarding my note to Babaji. I hadn't stipulated a desire for a response, and was so thankful for the response he did send. His response was very compassionate. I shared it with the Canadian email group. I have no objection to any of my emails being shared if you feel it is of service.

My life has been in profound upheaval. I am glad for opportunities for change, yet so far change is not wearing a particularly friendly face. I'm having to embrace change with faith despite the fact that it appears to have a threatening countenance. I am also having to take a deep breath and directly address consequences of having previously forfeited various shreds of my personal responsibilities on a number of levels, from the mundane to the creative and spiritual. In some ways the atmosphere in my life feels heavy because of these factors, and it would be excessively so, were I not able to call on Babaji's name in the frequent moments of uncertainty.

But part of me is reticent, I am scared that I am asking Babaji to hold my hand too much, that I am clamoring excessively for his attention when I keep calling on him to help me be strong. I feel like I should be strong and stand on my own without his help, that he should be free to help other people who need it more than I do. This is also how I felt last year when I was calling on him daily for specific help to carry through a difficult task.

Are there some thoughts on this subject that could be shared? How can I avoid the trap of leaning on Babaji too much? I am also asking Babaji to help me arrive at an inward understanding in this matter.

Om Namah Shivaya

From Marge: I sent that straight to Babaji. Here is the REPLY:

Babaji Responds:

"Blessings:

"Calling on Babaji can never be a burden. I am no-where but I am every-where instantly. I am here to give. Take all that you need.

"Change is difficult. I feel your burden. The body is not perfect and will always have needs. If you are on the High Path, living in Truth, Simplicity, Love, and Service. If you are becoming an independent thinker. Then fear not. Change is inevitable. Change is the Law of the Universe. But you will get through this.

"I am always with you.

"Babaji"

From this person to Marge:

Dear Marge,

I am not feeling all that articulate right now, but I felt this response from Babaji to the core of my being. I appear to have been surfing an unusual emotional wave since then, & since is unfamiliar territory, I'm not sure what is happening to me altogether; but I think I am experiencing a major release & a cleansing.

Speaking of cleansing, after I received Babaji's response I went downstairs to bathe, and so much dirt came off my body that I had to follow the bath with not one but 2 more tubfuls of water before I was clean. I was surprised at how much dirt came off of me. It feels like the same thing is occurring for me on an emotional level. It is a very intense feeling, but not a disturbing one, as Babaji's response to my email has had a deeply calming effect on me.

I am excited about the next healing session. Is it okay for me to tell individuals who are not part of this mailing list about the healing? Or is this something to be kept to the list for now? I notice you did say to spread the word, but I just wanted to ask you to clarify this, so I don't inadvertently commit a faux pas and bring problem.

I also found it fascinating that other devotees had questions similarly touching on change yesterday. It is giving me a sense of us as an entity together, if you know what I mean. It's like there was a wavelength we were tuning into together, each in our own individual way.

Again, this can be shared if you think it useful. I think anonymity is best. Please excuse my slow responses when I receive email from Babaji, but it is shaking me up so much (in a good way) that I am temporarily speechless afterwards.

Thank you so much for sharing my questions with Babaji. I can't tell you how great it feels to have Him allay my reservations and tell me directly that I can call on Him as much as I need to, that this isn't a problem. I don't know what else to say except that I am grateful I have found Him.

Om Namah Shivaya!

Love,
No Longer Hesitant