From R Regarding Life Difficulties
Babaji - Greetings, Shalom.
Once again I come to you with the same heavy heart, pain and suffering with questions/complaints as there is nowhere else for me to turn. I find myself in deeper and harsher misery from day to day and even my limited understanding can see possibilities for help that I am not able to get - I do not seek to blame but to understand WHY You have given me clear instruction on how to act, what to say, where to be on many occasions and do or act in a certain manner with people or in situations that I see as irrelevant to me - and I have done so as that is just the way it is.
You have written to me and in most of the responses to those who write you to [not a perfect quote] "invoke my name and chant the mahamantra and I will be with you" -- most recently my circumstances and my family's situation with regards to my son's high school education have dictated that I move to an area where he can go to a school of much better quality [we cannot afford a private school and the schools in our districts are academically bankrupt and socially horrendous and dangerous]. When last I wrote about this you pointed out that I should live within my means - this is correct, wise and even logical. I now know that the possibilities for finding an apartment in this area that is within my means are almost non-existent; but, the very first place I looked at WAS within my current budget [this is already bad enough and causes great stress and difficulty on a daily basis for years now] and I could have continued living at this level of difficulty - but when looking at the place, invoking your name and remembering the mahamantra I didn't get any of the guidance or urges that you have given me in the past with irrelevant situations so I waited for some guidance; not getting any after a couple of days I went to get the place as it would not only serve the ultimate purpose of my son's acceptance to school, but was within the means at hand, more or less; by this time the place was gone - I have spent the past couple of months looking for room to rent, a guesthouse, sharing a place, all I could think of and the ONLY solution is a place that is more than my means and this is what I must take to provide my family with the solution to this problem and my son with a decent education.
Sorry to be so long winded here, but I must ask, as this is eating me up alive - WHY did you not provide me with the guidance to take this place when it was available? My miserable existence in this ugly and corrupt world has now been magnified hundreds of times - why, why, why? I do not seek comfort, luxury, fortune, fame - just a simple existence and a small amount of inner peace; maybe a little time to grow and become somewhat of a human being - why could I not have been given a sign to avoid this deep plunge? Why have I received these signs to act in situations or with people that are inconsequential and insignificant and not when a condition of adding misery and danger to my own life is at hand?
I must write this as I am sick and tired of being stripped of hope and trust time after time - every endeavor I take upon myself is successful in the beginning and then falls apart within a couple of months, leaving me to continue and try again - and again and again and again - all for not, always alone and sinking further and further into this pit of darkness without hope. Now this situation - I am without the strength to fight constantly after the many battles of years - what can I do? Where can I go? Who can I go to? I have read your messages and don't feel that I am seeking to serve the lower self - is it too much to attempt to live a simple, quite life? Is constant struggle, misery and suffering the way of this miserable life in this ugly world? Is there nothing else?
How can I even seek the Higher when a constant struggle to meet basic needs for myself, my son and family are not attainable? But most of all I cannot understand why such a simple thing as a thought to help avoid a situation that will cause such a huge burden and much misery for years to come is absent.
R
Babaji Responds:
"Blessings:
"The body is imperfect. Sometimes guidance does not come through. You have the strength to get through this difficult period. Think of all the difficult periods you have come through. You had the strength then and you have that strength now.
"Babaji"
Topic: From R Regarding Life Difficulties (Read 7361 times)