Tiny Feet
Shared by Kali Devi
Babaji made his entry into my life on a summer's night in 1989 like a thousand exploding suns. He was not subtle at all! I had merely seen his photo in a book. My heart shattered and my journey began. He came for me as the Beloved and has remained so ever since. Although I never met Him in form, my experiences with Him have been incredibly alive with the same flames of love, compassion and lessons of those that did. He always taught me through my heart always reinforcing to me that the head (wisdom) and heart (compassion) must be one. I've kept years of journals of my meditations with Him and asked what did He want me to share and was lead to this one.
As I sat one morning some problems that made me sad and upset suddenly came to mind and quickly created the negative mood I lugged into meditation with me.
June 10, 1991
Although I was upset my mind eventually settled and I saw myself in a lovely forest. I was seated on a log and as I looked in the distance I could see Babaji coming towards me wearing a happy smile. The best I could give back was a wan one with the state I was in. He knew immediately that something was wrong but didn't speak a word. He just sat down in the grass in front of me like a child silently looking up at me with dark sensitive eyes.
I was uncomfortable with Him sitting there like that staring up at me so mouth opened to say something but was startled shut as he suddenly pulled my feet from underneath the long skirt I was wearing and said with sparkling eyes, "Such tiny feet. Such little feet!" "What?" I asked baffled. "Such tiny feet. Look! They are so small." He smiled, taking one in each of his large hands. "Never have I seen such tiny feet!" He grinned at me his dark eyes sparkling even more now like he was in child-like wonder.
I wasn't at all in the mood to be humored about my feet. I frowned. "What do you mean? They say that feet symbolize understanding. Are you saying that I have very little understanding?" I questioned irritably. He smiled up at me warmly, his deep eyes alive with amusement and lifted one dark brow, not needing to bother verbalizing me an answer. My ego cowered. "What I said is that you have the cutest tiny feet." (At that time some shoeboxes fell in my closet scaring me to death!) Babaji continued to laugh and joke and play with my feet, also massaging them until finally I pulled out of my sour mood.
"Feeling better now?" he asked after awhile. "I am. Yes, I am. Thank You." "Good. That is very good." His dark lashed eyes held mine beginning to shine , then suddenly he said, " I wonder what I would look like with such tiny feet?" "Oh, Baba! ..." I groaned and then had to laugh. "No, really. Come. Come and let us see!" He said lifting me up from the log. "You come and stand on mine." "Stand on Yours?" "Yes ... or either ... I could stand on yours?" He teased looking down at me. "You're too heavy." "No I am not ..." He answered half smiling, half serious, his dark gaze velvety and intense. At that moment a breeze blew his hair about His face and he became so beautiful that I felt my heart melting ... melting. In an instant our eyes met in understanding and He smiled really happy again. "You come. Stand here." He instructed and I did, perching on His feet. "Now hold on." He smiled down, embracing me. "Hold tightly!" I did. I held on to Him ever so tightly and suddenly the tears I had tried to fight back so fiercely finally came.
"I know ... yes ... yes ... I know ..." he held me so close. "It is not easy, this path ... this world. Many times we get discouraged. We both have been here a long time. I too know how hard ... how difficult it is for I too have been here forever it seems, helping mankind in his slow ... very slow pace, sometimes feeling there has been very little change. But ... you go on, not for yourself but for God, to find the Highest thing in you ... the Perfection you know inside so well." I sobbed profusely as He spoke these gentle comforting words holding me so close, so tightly. "Yes, yes little one. How well I know ... how well I know." I could feel and hear His deep sigh as he rested His chin on the top of my head. We stood there for a long time as he allowed me to cry my heart out about life's anguish and frustration in his arms. As I quieted He said gently, "When things are not going well, stand on My Feet, my little love. I am always here to hold you up. To take every step for you. Remember that."
Kali Devi
